and then i am limited by the alottment of the library and i quantify my life in these terms. is this the way things are meant to be? so filled up with everything, so joyful, so sad. i wonder if they could ever be anything else, when the extremities of things were a little more foreign. but i am extremity myself in that, i am the edge of the thing i am falling off. and then i see myself as a shadow, as the sun and i realise that i am everything already, everything i always was, everything together. it is not the extremities that define me, i am naming myself. and now, for the rest of this hot winded day, i will sit and cross my legs, hold onto the thoughts that are filling me, let them go. i will be defined by the alotment of time that i allow myself. and that is infinite.