oh, and now i am a discovery for myself, for the way i have been, for the movements i have made. this is not a good thing, or it is. because in the moment of setting foot, the moment where i step away from myself, turn back and see the way that i am, i am not pleased. i have inhabited this selfish space i think, i have not seen it before. and then i am here and i am in portland and i talk to robinette of the state of my heart, the way i have allowed myself to break a little, the way i have not been all i can be. and why is that? why can i not see the shape of these hearts, why is that? and now it is paused a little for a little minute, just enough time for me to work that out perhaps. the rain is stopping, we are riding bikes. i have to remember that people love me. i have forgotten. and again i have left things and i hate it, and again i am saddened a little by that. excited also. also excited.
2 comments:
i want to cry.
why do we keep running floating lacking? it breaks me, this life.
youll do amazing things my friend... love you
little fe. i love you too. i will call you again soon my friend, i promise.
i am doing these things because i know that i need to, because they will help to to work all of this confusion out. i think that is why. my heart hurts a little, but more in the certainty of things. on the bus on the wya here, i re-read that letter you wrote me, and remember how to love a little, that that needs to be brought back to being in love. that it is the most important thing.
i miss you everyday, little one. every day.
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