right now i have this little circle of pink light to play with and it is mine. yesterday it was the manta rays and the reef sharks, the things i thought i might be afraid of, but wasn't, not really. i found out that there is a whole nother world, down there, at the bottom of things, where i have been frightened to go. it is colourful too, more so than i thought, and you can hear the sounds your head makes, inside of your head. there is nothing there that's bad at all really, and i wonder what the thing was that was stopping me, holding my ankles in the shallows. all i found, under the blue line in the distance, were the things that i wanted to be there.