tonight i am in a room by myself, listening to music and the sound of the silence made by the sleeping of my family. it is almost the very end of all of this, all of these things that i have made and am proud of, of the process of the passage of these last six weeks. it is almost the beginning too, of this beginning we have made, of this beginning we are walking in to. tonight i wonder if i am so very different, if i am cast from this cloth, if you and i and all of us are, underneath, all the same. are we? is that what you think? is that what you have always been thinking? i am not so sure against the raising of lips and tongues, against the shape that words take, in the awkwardness of feet and the size of them. in the way that i run from the house at 8.13 and don't stop running until my feet are drowned by the sand as i jump from the wall, landing, gentle, at the edge of the world. things are so big from here, bigger than i remembered.