tonight there is the dash dash dash of the empty space in the bed and the upward sound of the end of this day, filled with dreaming and collision. tonight there is the occasion for hope and the occasion for laughing, the part of me that wants to stand still and the part of me that wants to run, wants to fly, wants to eat up all of this, so i am satisfied. tonight arms crash into arms and heads crash into heads and i feel close and so far away, so far far away. tonight i am stuck, here, in the in between loves, in the suspended space between this space meets that space, in the waiting, in the living, in the coming back from. i am not quite here yet, or as here as i could be, and i want so many things. i am not quite me, nor you either, nor the person that i used to be or the one i am learning. i am not quite the space between the space between us, the breath of breath, or the space of breathing. i am not quite the shape that the wind takes as it lifts itself all nightly, as it blows a dust storm, as it subsides. i am not quite ready, but i am wanting. i am here, tonight, in the contemplation of skin, and i wonder if the sum of all parts could ever add up to its whole. i wonder if i could ever make the right choices for my heart, if this is one, if the next one will be. i wonder if it is here, or over there, that i will end up. i wonder if it is with you.