i wonder if you know that you are one of those people, one of those, like those you are with. i wonder if you can see that, that beyond your arms and legs and eyes, there are things and there are people. and i wonder if you see that i am one of them. i wonder if you know that it is not about you, any of it, it has never been about you except that you are writing it, or trying to. i wonder if you can smell the way the day smells, smell the distance between places and the way that we keep breathing, if it tastes like anything to your tongue. i wonder if your body remembers, anything new or old. if it has learnt anything, new lessons, or old ones. i wonder how you can look people in the eye and then reach out, still looking, and pinch at them. because it looks like you are seeing things. and that is what i don't understand.